Start Home Costello:
Hey, Abbott!
Abbot:
Yes, Lou?
Costello:
I just got my first computer.
Abbot:
That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello:
A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and
a
24X CD-ROM
Abbot:
That's terrific, Lou.
Costello:
But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbot:
You will in time.
Costello:
That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbot:
Oh?
Costello:
I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbot:
Well, I don't know-
Costello:
Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Abbot:
Really?
Costello:
Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbot:
O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?
Costello:
I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should
be
very careful how you turn it off.
Abbot:
That's true.
Costello:
So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it
off.
What do I do?
Abbot:
Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello:
No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbot:
I know, you press the Start button-
Costello:
Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start
it.
So tell me what to do.
Abbot:
I did.
Costello:
When?
Abbot:
When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello:
Why should I press the Start button?
Abbot:
To shut off the computer.
Costello:
I press Start to stop.
Abbot:
Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello:
I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbot:
Start.
Costello:
Start what?
Abbot:
Start button.
Costello:
Start button to do what?
Abbot:
Shut down.
Costello:
You don't have to get rude!
Abbot:
No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello:
Then say what you mean.
Abbot:
To shut down the computer, press-
Costello:
Don't say, "Start!"
Abbot:
Then what do you want me to say?
Costello:
Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press
the
Stop button, the End button and
Cease
and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start
to
Stop.
Abbot:
But that's what you do.
Costello:
And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbot:
Don't be ridiculous.
Costello:
I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started
this
conversation.
Abbot:
What are you talking about?
Costello:
I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.
